Growing UP...and Growing APART

When you were in grade school, did you ever talk to your friends about getting married and all living together in one big neighborhood, throw the biggest and best block parties and live happily ever after? I know I did. And for the longest time, I thought it would totally end up just like that. We'd get together every weekend, our kids would become best friends just like we were all best friends growing up.

But you find as you get older that plan doesn't necessarily fall into place. After high school we all start branching off into our own directions. Yeah, we all tried to keep in contact while in college, but unless you attended the same university, it became that much harder to continue correspondence; thus, that much harder to find a common thread to keep the friendship going.

It just gets harder from there; after college you try and find a job right away so you can make a living to be able to pay off those college loans and other bills you've racked up while living the college life. Some people find "the one" while in college, get married and start their family right away. Some come back to their hometown and begin their grown up lives...

Some move away.

And that's what I'm having a tough time with as I'm writing this today. It's only Wednesday, and I've already heard of two friends, whom I've known since high school (one I've known since grade school and was very good friends with), moving before the end of the year. Not just moving to a different house or different apartment or different city...but a whole different state!

Now don't get me wrong. I couldn't be happier for them. These are opportunities that may never come again if you don't seize them now; especially while we're still young and don't have "roots." Heck, I think if I had the opportunity, in an ethical company where my future with them would be secure. (I've had an opportunity to move with a former company, but after much praying decided it wasn't the most ideal situation, and hey, five months later, I got laid off, imagine if I had moved into a new environment and had the same thing happen, what a mess that would have been!)

But these are moments that make me wish I had kept in better contact with them! Tried harder to maintain their friendships! One of them I do see every now and then, when we get together for happy hours or birthday celebrations. The other one, we haven't seen each other since another friend's wedding, in 2000...four years ago. Four years we haven't seen each other, she's had two more kids I still haven't met. We've been instant messaging each other whenever we're online at the same time, but that's about it.

Her move is the hardest for me to take. She's always been a homebody; not in a bad sense, she's just always liked the familiar. She even went to SMS for a semester and didn't like it down there, so moved back to STL and went to Webster for a little bit before getting married and having kids right away. I guess that's why I've always thought that they would just naturally be in St. Louis for the rest of their lives.

Why didn't I make more of an extra effort to stay in touch with them? Could I be so wrapped up in my life to not make the time? Am I really considered a friend still to these people?

After all of these sad thoughts and wishful thinking of going back in time and changing things around, I've only come to one conclusion: to remember the times you've spent with them in the past, to enjoy the moments you share now, and y'all better have some damn good farewell parties, and y'all better invite me! :)